I will never be among your ranks, 5am Gym People.
I had to pose as one of you today. It was unpleasant.
The pool was closed last night because someone threw up in it. So I had to go to the gym in the morning, because I couldn’t go after work tonight.
I got to the gym at 5:15. But it was too late. Because of you.
The 5am Gym People.
I looked around and wondered, why are all of you here right now?
I waited for an hour to get a lane, but I never could. Because the 5am Gym People are intense.
One of them was kind enough to offer to share a cute little lane with me, but I declined. I can’t swim straight. I’m just being honest. I’m not a 5am Gym Person, and I can’t swim straight.
I also can’t do anything other than swim because of whatever I did to my knee. It’s becoming less weird to injure myself. I’m not sure what that says about my life.
I told my boss “Good morning” at 4:30pm in an e-mail, and had to explain…
I got up at 5am today. I tried to be a 5am Gym Person. But I’m not. I think we can all see that now.
He told me I should throw up in the pool tomorrow morning, so the 5am Gym People will clear out.
And you know what?
I’m not above it.