News Is Funny

This is a good read.

“Whatever is awful about the US political process is magnified in the election season, and increases each day until it’s mercifully over.”

“So to recap: we’re in a war for freedom against tyranny, and for justice against oppression – a war which Mitt Romney will fight in close alliance with the regimes of Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Qatar, and the United Arab Emirates.”

Don’t leave yet. This is the best part:

“To summarize: in light of extreme anti-American sentiment, we must drone-bomb more, kill Iranian civilians with sanctions, send more symbols of military occupation to their region, move still closer to Israel (which could only be accomplished by some sort of new surgical procedure to collectively implant us inside of them), and even more vigorously support the repressive Gulf regimes. In other words, to solve the problem of anti-American hatred in the region, we must do more and more of exactly that which – quite rationally – generates that hatred.”

He said the only way to be closer to Israel is to surgically implant…surgically impant us…inside of them.

Every time I read it, I laugh.

Surgically implant us inside of them…

Chuckle.

Oh, and it’s 10pm now. I can’t write anything after 10pm. It’s against the rules. I think you can see why. I’m too giggly to be coherent.

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