Words To Live By

Me: My interview for that other position is at 9am tomorrow. FYI.

Supervisor: Would you like some interview tips?

Me: Absolutely. I do.

Supervisor: Well, you can just saunter in around 9:10 or 9:15.

Me: Is that so?

Supervisor: Just let them know you were busy checking your Facebook.

Me: This is good advice. I should write this down.

Supervisor: Are you nervous?

Me: No. I am not.

Supervisor: Well, just in case, take a bottle of rum with you. Put it on the table.

Me: Just set it right there on the table, huh?

Supervisor: Oh yeah. That way when the nerves hit you can take a swig right out of the bottle.

Me: Mmmm hmm. Go on.

Supervisor: Chewing gum and blowing bubbles always impresses.

Me: Sure. I’ll practice that tonight.

Supervisor: If they ask you a question you don’t have an answer for, just refuse to answer.

Me: That’s an interesting strategy.

Supervisor: You can also just throw your hands in the air and plead the fifth.

Me: Ok. Well. Thank you for all of that.

Supervisor: Let me know how it goes.

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