The company I work for has a Halloween contest each year. Each department picks a theme, and everyone decorates their cubicle in that theme. You can dress up in the theme as well.
That is how it is supposed to work, anyway.
Usually, only a few departments participate. Most people pretend like it’s not happening. This creates a very awkward dynamic, as you may be expected to carry on a professional conversation with someone dressed like Batman, and you are dressed like a regular person. Like Bruce Wayne.
The team I work with decided to participate. They selected a theme: Duck Dynasty.
You might be asking yourself, what does a duck-dynasty-themed cubicle look like? Perhaps I should have been more vocal, rained on the parade, and suggested something more…
I don’t know…
I did not take part in the planning. Because I have no idea how to turn camo-wearing bearded men into a team cubicle decoration theme. Somehow, the “duck dynasty” theme morphed into “redneck.” Which, if you think about it, could be a tad on the offensive side. So they have been planning their redneck decorations. Today is the first day they could start decorating.
The redneck theme, it turns out, looks a little bit like the “morning after a frat party” when you try to implement it.
There are solo cups hanging from the ceiling, and lining all of our cubicles.
There is a pile of “redneck food” which looks a lot like “hangover food.” Vienna sausages, spam, and cheese puffs. Maybe it’s not hangover food. Maybe it’s what you eat when you’re stoned out of your mind. I’m not sure if this food was purchased just for decoration, or if someone expects me to consume it later this week at some terrifying Halloween party. Not terrifying in the ghost or witch kind of way. Terrifying in the vienna sausage and spam kind of way.
So, I guess I will be working in this environment for the rest of the week. Solo cups everywhere. Someone mentioned setting up folding chairs in her cubicle. And maybe strapping a baby doll to her leg? I’m really confused. I don’t know how to feel.
Sometimes it seems like “The Office” could have run for another season if they had merely turned to my life for inspiration.