I Am Good At Life

Even though I have never actually dated anyone (just a few pretend boyfriends here and there, you know what I’m talking about), it feels very natural for me to tell other people how they’re doing it wrong.

It is for this reason that I did not balk when a friend of mine requested my advice to wade through the murky waters of online dating.

It’s really difficult to make emotional decisions about strangers. I’m glad to help out in evaluating people I have never met. The following are real life scenarios I offered counsel on.

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Allison, should I blow this guy off because he has bad grammar?

Poor grammar and spelling errors are common in text messages. Autocorrect, am I right? Personally, I’d prefer a guy who isn’t afraid to ask a girl out to a guy who can spell.

Allison, I am waiting for this firefighter to show up for our date. But he’s late.

Maybe he is trying to save a cat out of a tree. Give him some time.

Allison, I am meeting this guy at his apartment for dinner. Can I give you the address so someone knows where I am?

Of course. Just don’t forget that Jesus is watching. Don’t do anything you don’t want Him to find you doing if He returns tonight. Also, I will be at home watching Netflix on my couch. If you’re wondering where I am.

Allison, this guy posted an article about how men know more than women about money.

I thought we agreed you were going to move on from him after he laughingly referred to prostitution as a “business transaction.”

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I know, I know. There’s too much wisdom and insight here for only one post about online dating. There could be more where this came from if you text me all your online-dating related questions. Preferably, while your dates are happening. If there is one thing I know about dating, it is that you should be texting me live updates.

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